Many evangelicals live under constant stress. I think this is a stress from the community. That was my experience. Those who are serious about their faith will try to fulfill the expectations of the community. I have experienced this myself and have seen and heard it from many others. It is not always clear that these are community expectations. This is often downplayed, or rather overplayed, with the idea that these expectations are directly from God. This relieves the community of guilt and the burden is placed on God by supposedly divine authority.

God expects you to go to church, to go to home group, to read the Bible daily, to pray regularly and these things more. Perhaps it is also a good idea to do as much as possible for the community, free of charge of course, which is disguised as “work for the kingdom of God”. Of course, someone can decide and see it that way for themselves (cf. Rom 14:22), but if these things hang in the air as an “expectation”, then it is consistently unhealthy.

Two groups can be identified, namely people who feel overwhelmed by religious demands but try to fit in (this is where stress arises). On the other hand, there are also people who are not unsettled by such ideas and are firmly rooted in their faith and healthy self-esteem. The problem is therefore this: Insecure people are most at risk from religious expectations, i.e. precisely those who need to be protected against such influences. They are most at risk of falling into a stress of faith. Healthy people set themselves apart in good time and avoid such manipulation.

Faith stress

Anyone experiencing stress in their faith should be aware of this and pursue it. Faith stress is not a banality. Expectations that lead to stress are an expression of the culture lived in a community and are often shaped by an internalized theology. A doctrine of hell in particular leads to enormous stress for many believers. Unbelievers are not known to be frightened by such things – they don’t believe in them. However, believers can react in a highly disturbed way. Faith stress is stress for believers. That is the tragedy. Shouldn’t believers be led out into the freedom of Christ? (Gal 5:1) How is it then that quite a few believers go through life frightened?

One point in the reasons that may lead to faith stress concerns the assumption that everything is dependent on oneself. “You must believe”, “if you only believe”, “God wants …”. These are often radical assumptions. It will all depend on you whether God comes to a positive destination with you. Grace is reduced to a motivational boost, because grace can only do something if you want it to. If you do not want to, do not want to change, do not want to believe, then grace does not apply to you, but remains the image of a vengeful God who wants you to be saved but is not able to do so himself. Everything depends on the believer. Such ideas are widespread.

In many communities, there is no culture of error in which you can learn; instead, perfection is demanded. All of this is fueled by personal insecurity.

Make mistakes

I have made many mistakes in my life. I wasn’t aware of it most of the time, but in hindsight I realized it. At the time of realization, I can no longer change these things. They are already in the past. What’s more, I wasn’t aware at the time that I was making a mistake. I can say that I have tried to do the right thing at all times in my life. However, I was aware that I could never overlook the consequences.

Here’s the catch: if the uncertainty about possible consequences weighs heavily on me, I may not be able to make a decision. This paralyzes us and prevents us from taking positive steps. If you are not allowed to make mistakes, this can be a huge brake on your own development in life. The assumption that you are not allowed to make mistakes prevents a positive outlook on life and often leads to stress of faith.

Is there another way?

Believe courageously

I personally have no trouble making decisions. That is an advantage. However, I was very unsettled by the theologies around me. I had to learn to stand on my own two feet. For me, this meant that I had to check the validity of certain ideas. And then I found answers and had to decide what I believed, what I did, what I wanted to align my life with.

How do decisions succeed? Well, you don’t know that in advance. If freedom from error is demanded, for example by the internalized theology or in the community in which one stands, then it takes an incredible amount of courage to allow something new. Why? Because there can probably be no freedom from error. How can you achieve freedom from the pressure to be flawless?

I was encouraged by what I read in Psalm 23:

“He restores my soul, he leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake.”
Psalm 23:3

Through this verse of the Psalm, I understood that my understanding was not decisive, but that I could rely on my God “who leads me in paths of righteousness for his name’s sake”. So I could rely on the One who would lead me on paths of righteousness, even if I messed up. This was not a license for a dissolute life (as some would like to interpret it), but merely the positive assurance that God is greater than my possible wrong decisions.

That was relaxation for me. I could rely on God for my next decision, who will make everything straight “for his name’s sake”. I boldly take the next step, to the best of my knowledge and belief, open to change and willing to learn. So I learned to trust my God while walking. That’s first. Even when I make the wrong decisions, I trust Him to make something good out of them. I have firmly anchored my confidence. If I make a mistake, He will make up for it. Not because I am so good, so faithful, mean so well, but simply because He is committed to Himself. “For his name’s sake” is as it should be in a healthy understanding of God. This is also how I understand it, that God will one day be “all in all” (1 Corinthians 15:28). That is His goal, His decision and therefore not dependent on me.

That’s why I can courageously make mistakes, because I have complete confidence in a good outcome. It will be good or it will be good. We have these two options. The one promising possibility is that I dare to make a healthy decision and this is confirmed. The other promising possibility is that I mess up, but my God leads me back on “paths of righteousness”. I wouldn’t put it past him. And you?