The Bible speaks about human relationships in a very differentiated way. This is done in countless examples and under different aspects. Now what is love? What does it mean to love?

To truly love is more than desire, and more than friendship. This love is also not limited to a couple relationship or friendship.

“Feelings are “had”; love happens.”
Martin Buber, from “I and Thou”

Below are three words for love according to their use in the Bible.

Dear

Love (gr. agape)

The selfless and sacrificial love that expects nothing in return.

This is the love that “happens,” as Martin Buber writes. This love comes from a pure heart, and takes place out of personal choice. This love is not dependent on anything in return. It does not despair when the reciprocal love (still) fails to materialize. So Jesus can say, “Love your enemies!”(Mt 5:44).

John 3:16
Rom 5:8
1Co 13,11
Eph 3:19
1Joh 4,8

Friendship

Friendship (gr. philadelphia)

Mutual friendship in the best sense – a brotherly friendship.

Among ourselves we cultivate friendship. It takes place only out of mutual appreciation, and otherwise has no ground. It is from reciprocity that friendship draws strength and encouragement and support and fellowship. In the Bible, we are often told to cultivate friendship with one another.

Rom 12:10
1Thess 4,9
Heb 13:1
1Pet 1,22
1Pet 1,5-7

Significant from the last paragraph: “In brotherly friendship [lernen wir] love”.

Passion, desire

Passion (gr. pathos)

The passion for the opposite sex.

The Greek eros, from which our word “erotic” comes, does not exist in the Bible. Passionate physical love, however, belongs to man, and is found with other terms in the Bible. In wonderful poetic words the book Song of Songs (hb. shir hashirim, Song of Songs) tells about this passion between man and woman. Passion, unfortunately, can also become that which “creates suffering” when it greedily becomes desire, and takes the place of committed and lived relationship. This is what Scripture warns against.

Rom 1:26
Col 3:5
1Thess 4,5

Continuing

Questions for the conversation

  • “Live” and “love” are only one letter apart. How do the words fit together?
  • “God is love” (1Jn 4:8; 1Jn 4:16). How does this love show itself? Do I experience them?
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